Fear of Boredom?

After reading Elan Cohen’s essay called Harnessing Boredom in the Age of Coronavirus. I related back to an instance of my life during the Coronavirus. Let me set the scene. Middle of the night, playing Minecraft but not really doing anything, talking with a friend. You know how those late night talks be hitting different and you go deep into thought, well this was one of those times. I went into a state where I was questioning what I was doing in my life and why my grades mattered to me so much. I didn’t understand why I was doing it, especially since my friend was my polar opposite. She didn’t care about grades and loves going outside to hangout with friends, while me on the other hand basically revolved my life around my grades and I would rather stay at home playing games. I later came to a few realizations that I don’t wanna talk about here but it hit me pretty hard. I felt the foundation of my thinking crumble and didn’t know what to do. The reason why I relate this instance of my life back to Cohen’s essay is because I had always had the question of “why do I care so much about grades” but I never truly explored it because I knew I didn’t want to doubt myself. So instead I would preoccupy myself with games, homework, friends, and literally anything so I didn’t feel like I was doing nothing. I wasn’t truly afraid of the boredom, rather I was afraid of what the boredom might lead to. But with every question comes an answer, and sometimes you already know it, but never want to acknowledge it or embrace it. Boredom could lead to the answer to your questions, so just like in Cohen’s essay I say we should embrace it instead of avoiding it, to find a better understanding of ourselves.